Final Blog Entry From Hillary

First off, thank you so much for your unending prayers. We so appreciate everyone’s incredible support and humbly ask that you would continue to hold Luke close in prayer.

We have had an amazing couple of weeks. According to our pediatrician, at this point in time Luke looks and is behaving like a very typical newborn. She said that if we hadn’t had the MRI in the NICU, she wouldn’t have had any idea that he was missing his corpus callosum. As we settle in with 3 kids (if that’s physically possible) we’ve been able to leave the house a bit more, we’ve gone to a lot of follow-up doctor’s appointments and have been enjoying life as a family of five.

Luke is very easy-going, happily puts up with the constant hugs and kisses he gets and loves his baths to the point of falling asleep during each one. Danny has deemed Luke as his “buddy” and would much rather hang out with him than his little sis who “messes up everything!”

Katie has a sweet spot in her heart for her baby brother, and I often find her kneeling over a sleeping Luke and saying in her sweetest voice “it’s okay, Mommy’s here.” After explaining to the kids that God make Luke really special by giving him six toes and that he may need a lot of extra love, Danny decided that he too had six toes when he was born.

We remain hopeful that Luke will develop normally as our faith has taught us to remain hopeful in all circumstances. We will know more in the months to come and will be looking for different developmental signposts from Luke. He is also going to start receiving occupational therapy as more of a preventative measure.

This past week I read such an incredible blogpost from the mother of my inspirational and dear friend Katherine Wolf. In it, her mom referenced a verse in John: “As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?" "Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.” (John 9:1-3)

I was so touched by her post and shared this verse with Bob after reading it. Bob and I had read this before but had yet to think about it in relation to Luke. It is such an incredible verse and we feel it’s so applicable to us. In the nearly six weeks since he was born, we know from many of you how he has touched your heart and increased your faith. He's done the same for us. Pretty cool stuff for a baby who can’t even stay awake for more than 30 minutes straight. We will continue to pray that God’s work would never cease to be displayed in his life.

On Sunday, we ventured to church for the second time since Luke was born. As the church does just once a year, the end of the service was set aside for those who need healing to come forward and be prayed over. Not like crazy televangelist stuff, just a low key opportunity for extra prayer. Our incredible associate pastor, Pastor Care, prayed over Luke and anointed him with oil (which she was also able to do with him while he was still in the NICU). In her prayer, she referenced the same verse from John as above. Another verse she prayed is one of my favorites from Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Another dear friend of ours, Allison, blessed Luke with a huge bag of diapers – each diaper has a label with Scripture on it. When we got home from church, I changed Luke’s diaper and the new diaper that I grabbed was labeled with Jeremiah 29:11.

We are so encouraged and know that God is going to teach us more and more as we grow closer to Him.

For the time being, we are going to cease posting updates on the blog but we will continue to periodically update our new family website with photos. We know that many of you may want more regular updates, and we’d encourage you to just email or call us directly. We’d love to hear from you.

Thank you again. We credit your prayers for all the blessings we’ve experienced over the last two and a half months.

The Challenge Ahead

One of the things we've had plenty of in the last two months are diagnoses. We quickly learned that they come and go, only valid until the next test, which would usually prove the previous one wrong anyway. Because of that, we didn't want to share too much info about some of Luke's longterm issues and add drama where none was needed. From our perspective, Luke's most pressing needs once he was born was his ability to stabilize and then thrive.

Thanks to everyone's prayers, we have witnessed Luke's truly remarkable recovery and transition to a totally normal life at home, despite the fact he wasn't even supposed to be born for another two weeks.

His long term picture remains a bit unclear, but we wanted to share what we know and appreciate the fact that you will continue to hold this little guy close to your heart.

A few weeks ago while Luke was still in the NICU, doctors gave him a brain ultrasound and noticed an abnormality that led them to give him an MRI. Neither of us were present for the test and it made for a rough night as we had to wait until the next day for results. The next day the doctors had a chance to look at the film and diagnosed Luke with agnesis of the corpus callosum. The corpus callosum is a thick band of fibers that essentially connects the right side of the brain with the left side.

It's a fairly rare thing but not so rare that no one had heard of it. The effects of not having the corpus callosum vary greatly. On one end of the spectrum are people who live functional lives and may not even be aware they are missing it. On the other end can be various forms of retardation.

As far as where Luke falls on this scale, it is impossible to know at this point. All we can really do is rule things out as he grows and develops. Thanks to some wild chromosomal test, we learned today that Luke's condition is all part of a larger genetic syndrome called Greig Syndrome, of which he has some but not all of the typical conditions. Feel free to look all these things up online and then get scared, as that's what we did. But again, no one can truly predict where Luke will be in six months or one year or ten. Maybe he'll be slow to crawl and walk... but maybe not.

The first few days with this news were tough, but the Bible talks about how God gives "a peace that transcends understanding," and that has 100% been the reason we feel so much hope about the future. Luke is such a cool kiddo, who has fought through so much to be here. We feel up for the challenge, and also encouraged by how he has already proven everyone wrong time and time again.

With such a wide range of possibilities, we are of course praying for the best possible outcome and won't put limits on what God can do in any situation. Hillary has often said that she wanted 5 kids -- insert me shaking my head "no" here -- and once Luke's situation became clear, we agreed that God may be giving us a baby who'll need 2 or 3 kids' worth of love.

First Week Home

Luke has been home almost a week now and has brought so much joy to our house. He's eating well, sleeping well and putting up with the not-so-gentle love pats from his sister's meaty paws. Danny is much more gentle, but has flexed his muscles elsewhere, the worst coming when he stuffed an entire roll of toilet paper in the potty.

We have one more appointment this week and so continued prayers on that front. After that, we'll be able to give a better long term picture for some of the extra hurdles he may face along the way. But based on the first week, he's off to a great start.

Home!

A few shots from a blessed day:

Leaving Luke's pod in the NICU.

Danny excited to hold his little brother for the first time.

Reason #758 why Katie will not be left alone with Luke.

Also, Luke passed his hearing test today which is more great news! When we are able to provide more details about some of Luke's possible long term health issues, we will do so since it's obvious to us that your prayers helped him thrive so quickly over these last 11 days (and kept him secure for the 6 weeks before that).

For Real?

Today Luke lost the feeding tube in his nose. Tonight he'll be losing the PIC line in his leg. And tomorrow morning he'll lose the 24-hour nursing care to which he's grown accustomed since we arrived at UCLA on May 3rd.

Thanks to Luke's incredible progress with feeding and stability the last 3 days, we received discharge papers to take Luke home Wednesday morning.

As you can see in Luke's picture on the left, he was just as shocked as we were by the news.

Actually, he's rubbing his eyes after surviving a rough eye exam. Tomorrow they'll check his ears and we'd love specific prayers for his hearing and continued prayers for his long term prognosis.

But the short term is obviously OUTSTANDING, and we can't wait to strap the kid to the roof rack and take him home.

Lean, Mean, Bottle-Feeding Machine

Two days ago we asked for prayers that Luke would see some great progress in both his ability to eat and the volume he was able to take.

Done and done.

Today (Monday) we arrived at the NICU to see Luke sleeping happily in a standard delivery room bassinet. Unlike our other two kids, he never had the chance to use one until now. On top of that, the oxygen is his nose was gone... the jaundice light and mask were nowhere to be seen... and next to his bed was a 40cc bottle, which Hillary had the joy of feeding to him.

He even stayed awake for some pictures before heading back to sleep.

With these encouraging signs, we're hoping (and they're hinting) we could get Luke home within a few days.

With that on the horizon, our attention turns to some larger questions. Over the last nine days, doctors have given Luke about every test one can think of, and so our big giant overarching prayers are now focused on those results, which have more to do with Luke's long term health than his short term stability. All we can say for certainty is that Luke's strength is truly incredible and in many ways dwarfs our own.

Please pray for his long term health and God's healing touch. And thank you again for all the support. We know for sure he would not be making such rapid progress without all of you.

Luke.... I Am Your Father

Happy Father's Day

The results of your prayers are on display at UCLA where the day after asking for extra prayers for Luke's feeding, he successfully took every other feeding today VIA THE BOTTLE. Nurses also bumped him from 10 cc's two days ago to 20 cc's yesterday to 30 today which is fantastic. Fifty cc's is the goal and these are huge strides.

On other positive fronts, his oxygen levels have been turned down and they hope to have him permanently off the photo light tomorrow.

We continue to pray for improved feeding and also for some upcoming test results regarding Luke's longterm health.

Week One In the Books...

Luke continues to do well in so many ways, just seven days from his rocky entrance into this world. Below are a few good pics from the last couple days.


The big prayer request at this point is that Luke would start to drink milk from a bottle rather than the not-so-glorious tube up his nose. They have tried a handful of times with the bottle and he tends to drink a sip or two, get excited and then, exhausted from the excitement, fall asleep. And really, which of us haven't done that? Over the course of this coming week, doctors are hoping to increase the amount of milk Luke receives as well as the amount he's able to handle from a bottle. Should he pull this off, he will only need to be weaned from the extra oxygen in his nose before being stable enough to come home.

June 18th,

Rather than waste a lot of space with words, we just wanted to share some pictures from today, Luke's first full day off the ventilator. His growing stability and healing is such a blessing and the answer to so many prayers.

The Ventilator is Off!

(STANDBY NOT VENTILATING!)

Praise God!

While Bob and I were visiting the NICU this morning, the nurse practitioner decided that Luke's jaundice was no longer a concern and within moments the photolight was turned off and his mask was removed! In even bigger news, Luke's vent was turned completely off this afternoon! What a beautiful day filled with so many wonderful steps forward. We are closer to bringing this little guy home and we can't wait. Please continue to pray for him and for whatever the future may hold.

Luke means "bringer of light, morning"

I read Isaiah 60:1 the day after Luke was born "Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord rises upon you."

Jeremiah 1:5 "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart."

Our Little Fighter

In so many ways, this was a very encouraging day.

*For the third straight test, Luke's heart shows that the enlarged right ventricle continues to shrink back toward a normal size. With every test, cardiologists are more and more hopeful that it will fully correct itself.

*Because of this, Luke's lungs are getting stronger as is his breathing, so much so that when we left the NICU today around 2:30pm, the ventilator was only doing about 25% of the work! Luke's head nurse said they are planning on weaning him "aggressively" over the next day and hope to have him OFF THE VENT altogether within a few days. Unbelievable stuff.

*For two days now, Luke has been receiving 24/7 photolight treatment to combat jaundice, which is so prevalent in all newborns but especially in preemies who can't yet ingest breast milk. The bummer is that the poor kid has to wear that funky-looking white blindfold/mask thing so he doesn't stare into the light. That said, his numbers are improving and hopefully the light can be switched off in a few days too.

*Despite the picture above, they're really doing very little to Luke at this point. The IV in his left hand is gone and his umbilical line will likely go tomorrow, meaning he'll only have the vent and the PIC line in his leg.

While there are so many blessings and answers to prayer already, there remain some other longer term concerns and we ask for continued prayers with those over these next few days.

June 15th

We checked out of UCLA today with a car full of stuff, and were greeted at home by two ecstatic kids and a sign on the door that Danny made reading, "Happy Home!"

For Luke, it was, as expected, a day full of more tests and ultrasounds, followed by more tests after that. Hillary went back to the hospital tonight to find him resting peacefully. We hope to have some more answers tomorrow, and we continue to ask for your prayers for those upcoming results.

Day 2: Onward and Upward!

First, we're so thankful and humbled by everyone's encouragement and emails. We're also indebted for all of your prayers, which we absolutely credit for the progress and hope we've experienced today.

We were able to see Luke this morning around 10 (and many times since), and while we were there the cardiologist, who informed us of Luke's heart issues yesterday, stopped by again to see the little dude. He said that he had a chance to look at tests run on Luke from yesterday afternoon and was happy to report that the right side of Luke's heart indeed appears to be shrinking. The more it shrinks, the better the valve will work and the less blood that will flow backward through the ventricle. His hope and our prayer is that it continues to shrink and the problem will fully correct itself, possibly within a matter of days! If Luke can get there, he'll be able to breathe even better and could theoretically be weaned from the ventilator. This of course would be a giant step forward.

Tomorrow (Monday) they'll get back to poking and prodding Luke and doing ultrasounds from his brain to his feet to see what else they can learn. This is all very typical stuff for a kid with some of his issues.

The best part of our day was the end of our morning visit. Since he was born, Luke has always had his eyes shut tight. Even his nurse said she had yet to really see them open, but while we were there, he woke up and opened his eyes for a few minutes and checked out the crazy world in which he finds himself. It's hard to tell his eye color, but with that tape on to hold the vent in place, I think he's kind of got a Colonel Mustard look going.

While we're hoping to spend as much time at the NICU as possible with Luke, we're also very excited about being released tomorrow, going home, being a real mom and dad, sleeping in a real bed, eating home cooked meals, and having the Golf Channel at our Bob's disposal just in time for U.S. Open Week.

Now What.

Consider it pure joy, whenever you face trials of many kids, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. -- James 1:2,3

This is tough. There's no gentler way to say it. It's been about 19 hours since Luke was born and Hillary and I will be heading to bed in a still empty hospital room. Down the hall we can hear the cries of babies and would love nothing more than to have our own kid's wails wake us up at 3 in the morning.

At 4pm this afternoon we headed over to see Luke again and spend some quality time there, but he was in the middle of having a PIC line inserted so he could be given more nutrients and carbs. All we could see around his little bed were a few nurses in blue scrubs.

Tonight around 10 we called the NICU to see if we could stop in and were told that the PIC line didn't take and after waiting a few hours, they were about to try again. So we'll wait until the morning and go from there. In our baby's first day of life, we've seen him for a total of 45 minutes.

It's a cliche to say that we don't understand what God's larger plan is for all of this. But like the verse at the top, we do have faith that one of the end results will be a strength and perseverance we wouldn't have had otherwise. No one wins $10 million and grows closer to God. You grow through trials, through putting your faith to the test and coming out better on the other side. And funny enough, that relationship between God and us is paralleled in our relationship with Luke. There he sits getting poked and prodded, and obviously can't begin to know what's going on or why. But we know those tubes and sensors and messed up PIC lines are steps along the way to making him stronger. They're hurdles that will ultimately give him the best chance to persevere and live a full life.

For now, I think our goal is just to have that same child-like faith. Someone bigger and stronger is in charge. The best thing we can do is just close our eyes and trust him.

Luke Palmer, Day 1

Here's a picture of Luke shortly after birth. He is fairly stable, breathing 1/2 on his own, 1/2 on the ventilator. He's on an IV helping give him fluids. Over the next week, doctors will be busy checking him out from head to toe and checking regularly on his heart to see if the enlarged right side shrinks down on its own. There could be other yet to be discovered complications, but the heart remains our primary prayer. As for the extra digit on each hand, that appears to be a fairly easy fix, but a low priority at this point.

Hillary is already up and running around, hardly acting like a woman who gave birth less than 12 hours ago. I on the other hand no longer have to pretend to be strong and have taken to ugly sobbing on a regular basis. Sometimes Hill joins me, but they're not really tears of sadness, just good ol' emotional breakdowns brought on by exhaustion and relief that we got the kid into the world as best we could and now we just have to wait and see. Hopefully Hillary will never again accuse me of not sharing my emotions.

Luke Arrives, Saturday June 13th, 4:12am

No time or energy for the long version, though you certainly will hear it at some point.

After a longer than expected labor, Luke was born amidst a flurry of activity at 4:12am. And he didn't look like a 35-week baby -- he weighed in at 6 pounds, 7 ounces. He came out bright pink but was not giving that great newborn cry. The NICU staff immediately took him and began helping him breathe. He is now stable and on a ventilator in the NICU. His breathing problems were largely due to fluid and mucus and he is doing some of the breathing on his own.

As noticed last week, Luke's heart is enlarged and a pediatric cardiologist will be in this morning to run an EKG and go from there, but there isn't any structural damage to the heart.

The one real surprise is that Luke was born with an extra digit on both hands and both feet. On some level, it breaks our heart, but when I told Hillary, she responded with a smile and said, "Hey, better more than less."

That is all for now, our prayers are that the heart issue can correct itself and that that is the limit to any significant speed bumps as he begins life, sharing a birthday with his incredible mom.

Day 41...And In Real Labor. We Think.

Over the last few days, Hillary's mindset has changed from not wanting the baby to come to excited about the possibility. Ideally we'd go 40 weeks, but no one really considered that much of a possibility, especially considering she's essentially been contracting for 5 straight weeks. After contracting more and more throughout the night, she began thumping even harder this morning. I tried not to get Hillary's hopes up that this might be it, but when our doctor came in and saw this monitor chart draping down, he said, "Whoa."

"You're 35 weeks, yes? Good," he said, then added, "This baby will be coming today or tomorrow."

While he could be wrong, for the first time since early May Hillary is off all meds and letting nature do its thing. We just feel so blessed by this whole trial and look forward to meeting this kid for real. Any day is good by us, but if it happened today, it would be hysterical seeing as we've had our other two kids on the 12th. But tomorrow's not bad either -- it's Hillary's birthday.

Say a prayer for all involved and we'll keep you posted.

Day 40 and Keeping Busy...

One of the key elements of Hillary staying sane is the kid's artwork which now covers most of the room. On the right is one of our favorites. As you can see, we've strategically placed it to obscure the fact we're in the hospital, covering up the container used for used needles. Pretty sure most people don't have those hanging in their bedrooms.

When not making progress on scarf #2, Hillary has been busy convincing nurses to buy my Tiger Woods book as the perfect Father's Day present, quoting smoothly from the Sports Illustrated review while getting her blood pressure taken. I think Barnes & Noble should seriously consider placing an employee in a hospital bed in the middle of each store to suggest books to customers. No one in good conscience could say no.

Day 39...

Since we arrived here May 3rd, we've been keeping track of my stay with a countUP, not a countdown. We figured a countUP would be more encouraging since every extra day was progress, versus putting up "74 days to go!" which would have seemed overwhelming.

As for Day 39, my contractions have picked up a little bit in the last few days which has required me to receive an occasional shot but all seems to be under control for the time being.

The medical drama for the time being has transferred to Orange County, where my 92-year-old grandfather was put into 24-hour nursing care after suffering more and more falls. It is tough to see but he is stable and being well cared for. Then this morning, my grandmother (his wife) had a major fall in her apartment and was rushed to the ER with a sprained ankle and, worst of all, a broken hip. She is awaiting surgery tomorrow. My poor mom has certainly been put through the wringer and Bob hopes to give my parents a break with the kids so they can spend some time down south.

Today, we had a great visit with the kids where they enjoyed a picnic lunch in the hospital and showed off some arts and crafts they made with their great Aunt Patti a few days ago. Danny noted that he had never had a picnic in a hospital before.

I had secretly hoped that Luke would arrive a few days early so that he could be born on the 12th of the month just like his two siblings (October 12th and December 12th). We doubt Luke will hold off until July 12th so who knows, maybe this Friday will be the day!

Last Night...

So it was 5:45am. Dark. Hillary was asleep in bed. I was asleep on the pull-out couch. Again, it was 5:45am.

After a knock on our door, a male doctor enters and fumbles for the lights. He turns them all on and looks at a piece of paper in his hand as he walks over to Hillary.

Doctor: So how are you guys sleeping?

Hillary squints at him, confused.

Doctor: Do you have a foli in?

Hillary: A what?

Doctor: A catheter.

Hillary: No...

Doctor: Are you passing gas? Having regular bowel movements? Are you drinking water?

Hillary: Uh...

Doctor: Are you breastfeeding?

Hillary: What? No.

Doctor: Oh, have they not brought the baby back yet?

Hillary pulls her sheets down, revealing her giant stomach and baby monitors.

Hillary: I'm not due for 5 weeks.

The doctor looks wide eyed at his piece of paper, then back at Hillary. He gulps.

Doctor: Mrs. Davenport?

Hillary: No, Mrs. Smiley.

Doctor: I'm so sorry...

The doctor turns, hits the lights and is gone.

5 weeks and 1 Day: From Hillary

First, our apologies for not posting anything since Thursday. This weekend Bob surprised me with a quick two-night trip to Wine Country! No, actually, the real reason is that after being in the hospital for 36 days, we sometimes run out of interesting ways to say "Still here, no baby."

So rather than say it, how about we just show you some progress? (warning, this might scare you):My stomach is so big that at 3:41pm tomorrow, I'll be causing a partial eclipse over California and Nevada. The better news is that most of this watermelon is Luke. We had another ultrasound today and our doctor said he is measuring 2 WEEKS FURTHER along than his July 16th due date. He's growing so quickly that in just the four days since our last test, he has already gained seven days worth of weight. To this we credit all of your prayers and a steady diet of fast food.

In addition to the weight, the doctor looked at Luke's heart again today and while one side remains slightly enlarged, it both appeared and sounded to be pumping normally, which is yet another answer to prayer in all this. They will continue to do regular EKGs until he's born, but with every test the hope grows that this too was a misdiagnosis.

One of the biggest highlights of the past few days came on Sunday, when my dear friend Katherine Wolf (http://www.katherinewolf.info/) came to visit. Katherine suffered a catastrophic brain injury in April of last year and has recovered in so many miraculous ways. She is a total inspiration and helped me put things in perspective since she has endured much more than I could ever imagine.

And last but not least, today my nurse insisted that we move out of our little room and into a gorgeous one overlooking Westwood Blvd. It's so nice to be able to see long distances and objects moving below from the comfort of my bed. This marks our 8th room change since arriving on May 3rd. The hope is that we'll be able to stay in this room through next weekend which will mark my 28th birthday.

Oh, and in sewing news (aww yeah, makin' you wait for the big knitting update)... I'm now onto my second scarf and hope to complete one for each of the kids by the time Luke is born.

New prayer requests (also updated on the sidebar):

1. Praise for Luke's growth.

2. That he would continue to develop to full term and would not have any complications, specifically that any heart issues would disappear.

3. That Hillary would be able to have a natural delivery.

34 WEEKS: Prayer and Praise!

Yesterday marked one month since Hillary was admitted to UCLA for preterm labor. In that time various goals have been met. Scarves have been knitted, contractions have been regulated, an American Idol champion has been crowned... And finally, today, doctors would finally figure out what was wrong with Luke.

For most of our stay, the focus has been on his esophagus. But Luke was always too small to know for sure. As you can see from the new picture on the left, he's a fatty. Six pounds by current estimates!

And in a true answer to prayer, an ultrasound on Luke from a few days ago seems to show that the stomach is filling normally and that Luke is indeed swallowing.

But that would be too boring of an end to this story, wouldn't it? Instead the doctor became focused on Luke's bowels, which seemed enlarged. Until today, when yet another ultrasound threw out that possibility.

Instead, one doctor became focused on Luke's heart, something a little more serious for sure. Today's ultrasound was showing that the right half of Luke's heart is enlarged, and causing some blood to flow backwards through one of the chambers.

While Luke is obviously thriving in the womb, the fear of this complication is that Luke's heart may not adjust well once he's born. In order to take added precautions, Hillary has been put back on 24-hour baby monitoring and moved back to the labor and delivery wing of UCLA. If his heart does show serious signs of distress or fails altogether, the "good news" is that Hillary is now just twenty feet from the O.R.

Within 30 minutes of receiving this news, a pediatrician from the NICU was in our room. Now expecting the worst, he instead calmed our fears, saying that the heart changes in dramatic ways once a baby is born. It's very possible that the condition may correct itself. And even if it doesn't, he believed that medication alone would be enough to stablize his situation.

To quote Hillary, "This is why I don't like roller coasters."

To cap off the drama of the day, our high-risk doctor popped his head in to say hi after we'd been relocated back to labor and delivery, well aware of the day's drama. Despite us believing the true diagnosis had at last been reached, our doctor said in his opinion they still haven't found anything truly wrong with Luke.

"But the enlarged heart..." I said.
He waved me off. "That will correct itself."
"You think so?"
"Yeah." And with that he waved goodbye and left.

So on a day when we were sure we'd get some answers, the breadth of conclusions depending on who you ask ranges from absolutely nothing to heart failure. Time to update our prayer requests... if we can figure out what they are.

4 Weeks: From Hillary

Here Danny and I are using my resistance bands that I'm supposed to use for physical therapy to instead become ninjas.

The post-its directly in front of my bed tell me that it's been 4 weeks since I showed up here. The days have all become blurred but the moment-to-moment experience can be incredibly slow.

I have definitely hit a wall the last few days and am looking forward to seeing what's on the other side. Emotionally I hope to cling to God even more because I am so tired of being here.

But I did just receive some amazing news... My doc popped in tonight and since it's been so difficult to keep our little swimmer on the heart rate monitor 24/7 due to my extra fluid, I asked whether it's necessary to keep it on all the time. Without batting an eye, he agreed and said starting tomorrow they'll only monitor Luke for one hour a shift. That's just one hour for every twelve!! Except for having to take my meds twice a night, I might be able to sleep through the night now!

Day 26: From Hillary

Today has been a great day! I have had the least amount of contractions since being admitted to the hospital (only about one to two an hour) and am hoping this will continue until the real stuff starts. My belly is getting noticeably bigger (from the increasing amniotic fluid) and the nurses are having to come in and readjust the heart monitor on little Luke much more frequently because of it. Sometimes it's like trying to find Nemo in there. Back at home, Bob and the kids had a great time making pancakes this morning. All things considered, the kids have really adjusted to this whole new wacky way of living so well.

To keep me busy up here, one of the nurses thought I should learn how to knit and gave me my first lesson on Sunday. She even brought me needles (the only ones I can stand) and yarn. Immediately after her shift ended, I somehow got an extra loop in the scarf (yes, I am aware that we are approaching summertime) and was forced to stop knitting altogether for 72 hours. Lucky for me, my night nurse tonight is an expert knitter and has rescued me three times in the first 4 hours of her shift.

Other than that, I have so enjoyed the visits I get from the kids and am just trying to keep my days filled with projects so I don't get bored. We had our 5th room change today which isn't so bad because A.) I don't have to do anything other than hold on as they wheel me down the hall and B.) Each time we change rooms, it gives me a new view from my bed.

Thank you for your prayers! We feel so incredibly grateful to God that Luke has been given an extra 26 days in the womb.

Day 25

First, one of our great nurses heard we were having trouble finding enough utensils and was kind enough to bring us a whole bag of them. I'm just hoping this was an unused bag she put them in and not a recycled one...

In more important news, Hillary battled contractions all Tuesday night and endured another shot of terbutaline sometime before sunrise, all in hopes to slow things down yet again. By late-morning, Hillary was still feeling them and becoming concerned that the meds were masking the fact that she was in full blown labor. For the first time in at least 2 weeks, one of the on-call doctors decided to check and see just how much Hillary was dilated.

If you're keeping score at home...
25 days ago, she was measured as "1 to 2" centimeters.
24 1/2 days ago, she was measured as "3 cm."
A few days after that, the doctor had her back to 2.

And today?

Doctor: "Maybe 2."

Huh. For all we know, Hillary was around 2 when we checked in May 3rd and never actually changed at all. Apparently her uterus is like that chair testing machine at Ikea that can squeeze a chair for a few years without ever wearing the thing out.

This is good news of course. The plan going forward is to continue to give Hill terbutaline every few hours and wait for those contractions to kick into high gear. Could be tomorrow, could be 2012.

Day Twenty...Can It Be...Four?!

It has now been about three and a half weeks since Hillary was admitted to UCLA. Considering the money Blue Cross will be giving this place when we leave, I think all of our children should be given a free ride when it's time for college.

Roughly five days ago, Hillary was taken off indocin and put on a new medication. As predicted, her fluid levels have gone up slowly and the last two days have seen much more regular contractions. At times it's been uncomfortable for her, but nothing compared to the moaning moms we sometimes hear down the hall.

The plan remains to keep Hillary on her current meds up to 36 weeks, if possible. That would be about three more weeks from now. At that point they'll probably cut off all meds again and see what happens. If we make it to 36, my guess is Luke won't wait long.

But enough with all that boring stuff -- how about that Jon and Kate Plus 8 Season Premiere? Maybe we've been in the hospital too long, but that was some great television. We for one were glad that Kate is tired of the paparazzi exploiting her family for financial gain. Oh wait, that's what she's doing.

3 Weeks: From Hillary

Three weeks ago, I was admitted into the hospital. I remember balking at the idea of staying overnight that first night... How bizarre to think that I haven't been home since May 3rd! But, the good news is that there is an end in sight... even if it is many weeks away.

I had another ultrasound this morning and baby Luke is growing steadily! He continues to measure larger than his gestational age which is a blessing. The doc thinks he is about 4.5/5lbs. We got a quick glimpse of his stomach and the doctor even concluded that it looked the biggest it's been as of yet. So... it is very possible that the extra amniotic fluid is not due to any complication with regards to Luke. We ask you to keep praying that this is the case! My amniotic fluid has increased a little bit, but that was expected. It may naturally stop increasing at this point in the pregnancy, although we will just have to wait and see.

I am supposed to get a more formal ultrasound next week by my high risk doc. My prayer is that everything will be completely normal and the results will be classified as yet another medical mystery (i.e. miracle from God).

I've had a rough couple of days since they've taken me off of the indocin, which included a sleepless night full of anxiety and an increased heart rate (due to the new meds I was on). I think they have finally ironed it all out now and I feel a bit more normal.

Danny came to watch another movie and have lunch on Friday.

Here he is upset that he has to eat his quesadilla

before enjoying the cupcakes that he brought for us.

He couldn't even glance at me while I took the

photo because he was so excited to get his treat.

He kindly left me his buddies to

"keep me company and cheer me up."

Of course Bob had fun making me

pretend they were babies.

The belly is getting smaller!

32 weeks

28 weeks

32 Weeks: From Hillary

My doctor stopped by to check on me today and said that there is still a chance of me going home... but not for at least another week. Since today is the last day for the indocin, my doc would like to observe me a bit before sending me home (where I would still be on bed rest).

His biggest concern is that since I will be off the medicine that has decreased the amount of my amniotic fluid, my fluid could begin to increase once the medicine stops. And if my fluid levels go back up, I could be at risk for something called a cord prolapse which could be "catastrophic" and would require an immediate c-section. Whatever happens, I have faith that God knows the exact moment that little Luke be born, just as Psalm 22:9 states: "Yet you brought me out of the womb..."

On another note, Bob and I have figured out a couple of things that have made the hospital stay a bit more enjoyable (dare I use that word?). One example of that is when Bob orders my breakfast, if he orders my fruit plate first, they give me a big plate with strawberries and lots of grapes, but if he orders the fruit after my bagel, they only give me a tiny bowl, mostly made up of cantaloupe.

Yesterday, the kids came to visit and Danny stayed for the rest of the morning so that he, Bob and I could have movie time and watch A Bug's Life. It was wonderful to spend so much time together and when the movie ended he said, "Oh no! I forgot to bring another one!"

Our new prayer requests are:

1. My contractions will continue to slow.


2. My amniotic fluid would not increase.


3. Luke would be born without complications.